I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
