i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
