he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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