I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
