Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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