Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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