if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
