Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
