best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
