a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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