At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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