just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Pooping to opera.
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