And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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