his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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