I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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