mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
