how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
