Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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