his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
