about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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