Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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