so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
