hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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