Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
