I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
