Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
