that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You made out with two different species that night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
