no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
