think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
