I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We are all done wearing pants today
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
