If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
