it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
