38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
