I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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