Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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