If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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