so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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