i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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