I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
