he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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