I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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