Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
