soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
