Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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