She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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