Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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