New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
