Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
