He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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