porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
