for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
