I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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