I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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