Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
did i walk over a car last night?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
