ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
