Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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